Hate You, Love You
by Plegarya-Phantom
Summary: Mello finally realized what he truly felt for his rival. M x N


**Author's Notes:** First fanfic for Death Note. Yeah, quite a difficult fanfic to understand, sorry, *sweatdrops* anyhoo, this is inspired the manga and the episodes! XDD Hope you like it.

Flames are allowed only if you say it in a subtle way, no lines such as 'this is the worst fanfic ever written' or 'you suck', those are the most immature things to say to a writer, sorry to offend you. But I think I didn't make any of the characters OOC.

By the way, to those who hate yaoi and this pairing with a burning passion that can perhaps kill, I suggest that you find other fanfics to read that you have a guarantee that you will like so that it won't be a trouble in your part or mine. Okay.

Love to all…

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note! If I did then I should be rich by now and, gosh, I'm too young to own an anime!

**Hate you, Love you…**

"Then I guess I have to do it…"

Then he hung up…

Mello or Mihael Keehl, a young man with straight blonde hair and blue eyes, sighed; today's the day… the former mafia member took a bite on his chocolate bar.

Light Yagami, Kiyomi Takada, Teru Mikami, the SPK members and Near… today's the day to put a stop to these foolishness called Kira.

He just called Hal Lidner, a female SPK member, who told him that Near is going to put an end to Kira too and it's by putting his own name in the notebook.

Mello's blue eyes turned to his accomplice, Matt or Mail Jeevas. Matt has a brown shoulder length hair and usually wears goggles over his eyes. He is still playing with his game boy. Geez, he's been playing for that thing for almost six hours straight…

"Hey, Matt…"

Matt's head didn't jerk up, his eyes still glued on the screen of the game boy.

"Yeah?" Matt said, his eyes not leaving the game for even a second.

Mello bit his chocolate again, finishing it off, and then stood up from the sofa. It feels like he is forgetting something that he will regret sooner or later…and he feels like he's empty…very, very empty.

"I'll be going somewhere first…you should prepare now…" he said.

Matt nodded his head but still has his eyes staring at his precious game boy.

Mello wore a tight leather black jacket and black pants; he took his black helmet and went on his way to the garage.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mello stopped his motorcycle by a building and parked it somewhere. He is sure that _he _already saw him because of the security cameras around…

_That boy _is always so clever and smart and Mello hates that very fact!

He took his two silver guns and walked towards the entrance of the building.

But still why did he even go here in the first place?

Maybe it's because of the weird feeling in his chest that he didn't actually know where it came from…

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Near, it's Mello, shall I let him inside?" asked Lester, an old SPK member. Near's head jerked up, he was playing with his robot toys when Mello went to their building and positioned in an Indian sit. Near or Nate River is a boy with white, curly hair, a pale complexion and grey, dull eyes.

Hal Lidner is somewhere with Takada Kiyomi and Stephen Gevanni, the _hottest_ among the SPK members, is tailing Teru Mikami.

He turned to Lester and nodded his head. "Let him in…" he replied.

Mello stepped inside the room and turned to the SPK member.

"Please leave us alone for now…" he said, sternly and he took off his helmet, exposing his beautiful face, his straight blonde strands spilling over his face and on his shoulders.

Lester looked over to Near to know if the boy genius would agree to it. Near nods his head and the SPK member left the room.

Silence invaded the two successors of L, the two rivals…

"Near…" Mello broke the silence between them. And Near stopped playing with his toys as soon as he starts speaking and he began to toy with his perfect white hair.

"Mello…" Near said, their usual thing to say when you are going to start a conversation with Mello. His voice held no emotion as it always had.

"Near, Lidner told me that you're going to put an end to this case today by…" Mello paused, seeing Near's smile. His eyes widened in surprise…it's not a smirk but a forced smile from the emotionless boy.

"…by letting your name be written on the Note." He continued, preferring the 'Death Note', the murder notebook as 'Note'. Near continued to play with his hair.

"Why, Near? Don't you know that you'll die if that happens?" Near's eyes widened, that sounds like Mello cares for him. "I know that…" he replied.

Mello snorted, laughing in a way that would annoy Near. Bitterness. "Of course…you do know everything!" he said with his eyes rolling over to another side. "That's why I hate you. That's why we're rivals…" Near continued to stay silent as Mello spoke.

"Mello, why did we even become rivals at the first place? I mean, I don't even want this…" Near said.

Mello turned to look at Near.

"You didn't?" Mello asked; his eyes widened in shock. Near glances away lifelessly and just nodded his head, saying nothing. Mello sat beside the younger boy and sighed. "That means I'm the one who wanted to be your rival, the one to have a competition against you…"

Mello had always been jealous of Near but who wouldn't be? Near was smart, as in, VERY smart. Mello had always been second and Near had always been number one even if he do his best…

…he's still number two.

The emotionless boy bowed his head low. "The reason why I'll let Light Yagami write my name because it is the only way to prove that he's Kira…"

"So it doesn't matter that you'll die, Near?" Mello asked as soon as Near finished talking.

"Don't worry, I have a plan…" he replied.

Mello stood up. "But if Light knows your plan, you'll die!"

_It's okay. It's okay. It's okay…_

Near's head jerked up. "Mello…" he whispered.

How strange…Mello is obviously worried about him which was very unusual to this beautiful yet strange blonde young man.

Silence…

"Do you know why I went here in the first place…Near?" Mello suddenly asked, looking away from Near, he's hiding something from Near and it's his feelings…Near shook his head and continued to stay silent.

Mello sighed, feeling something warm is beginning to sting his blue eyes. He couldn't take it anymore…he began to shed tears. "I'm here to say farewell to you…Near…" he said.

"Why?" Near said and for the first time he actually sounds confused. "Why of all people, you went here to say farewell to me? To a rival of yours?"

As Mello looked at Near's grey eyes, he couldn't help but feel as if he was being drawn by him as if Near was a magnet…

And for a while, he finally understood what he truly felt towards Near. "I don't know…" he said. Could it be possible that the hatred he felt for Near was actually love disguised in a way to confuse him?

But what is love? It's a word that can mean a lot to someone but perhaps mean useless to the other. Love. It means to care for, adoration and to feel an irresistible attraction to. But could a word like 'love' mean something else than it should be?

Love and hatred are both strong emotions from the heart and it is easy to confuse one from the other, is it not? Love is a terrible mystery no master could answer at ease.

Yes, now he understands…it was not hatred that he felt for the pale young man. But love.

Mello turned towards Near and pressed his lips against the younger boy's lips and to his surprise he didn't feel any disgust in doing it. He didn't feel Near rip his mouth away from his nor felt him shudder.

There was hunger in them as they kissed, one was widening the other's mouth as if he was fit for devouring and their tongues caressed each other as if they wanted to have a taste of each other. Near's arms snaked around Mello's neck and Mello wrapped his arms around Near's waist.

It seems like an eternity that they were in their very new incomprehensible intimacy with one another…

"Mello…I love you…" Near said as soon as their lips parted from each other. They are both shedding tears now, expressing their sorrow this time. It was the first time Mello saw Near in this state, this melancholy.

"I love you too, Near…" he replied and he was sure about his feelings now.

3 words that seems to be so difficult to say no matter what the occasion is.

Mello wiped away his tears with quick gestures as if hating the tears falling freely from his eyes. He forced to smile. "I've got to go, Near…" he whispered and he began walking away. Near stood up and ran towards Mello. He wrapped his arms around Mello's feminine-like body. "Stay…here…Mello…" Mello could hear him sob.

"Near…" he whispered.

"…together we can defeat Kira easily even without plans…we could do it, Mello…" Near cried.

Mello turned and pats Near's hair and pressed his lips against the boy's forehead. "Near…" but he cannot do it. He couldn't even if he wanted to. Everything has been planned and he was sure Light Yagami had already thought of Near's plans. Everything of it.

Light Yagami. That devil.

And if he won't do everything he had planned then Near would lose everything, even his life, and all their efforts would all be in vain.

"…I'm sorry."

He gently shook away Near's grasp and runs away, as he leaves the building, he hopes that he wouldn't regret any of his actions now as soon as everything is done…

**The End**

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That's all, please comment…


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